How to Get Into Heaven, For Free

How to Get Into Heaven, For Free 1

“The ‘kingdom of Heaven’ is a condition of the heart – not something that comes ‘upon the earth’ or ‘after death’ ” -Friedrich Nietzsche

It’s a bit of a clickbait title isn’t it, but the thing is, it’s true. It’s radical hidden knowledge in plain sight. You can get into heaven right now, for free. But that sentence is a bit misleading…because the truth is…you’re already there whether you know it or not 🙂

Paying to Get Into Heaven

Remember Catholic “Indulgences”? Probably not cause they were common hundreds of years ago in medieval times. Basically you could cough up your hard-earned money to guarantee a spot in heaven! Imagine that haha. Well I’m here to tell you to save your pennies cause that’s a stinking scam! Thankfully it’s no longer in practice but that doesn’t mean people don’t spend loads of money on promises of New Age spiritual betterment.

Spiritual retreats and seminars will set you back thousands of dollars. They might make you feel really good for a few days, or longer, but that high comes down. Spiritual practices aren’t unlike drugs in that there’s a high and an eventual comedown. Though those seekers may not be trying to get into an afterlife, they are trying to find a Heaven on earth.


The heaven you’re so desperately seeking is closer than closer, it’s this. It already is. Heaven is all there is. The mind will try to convince you otherwise but those are nothing more than thoughts. Ignore your mind for just a few seconds. Ok…go…ignore!


Did ya fee that? When you ignore the mind and become aware of the fact that you exist…the fact that you are aware…you get a little glimpse into heaven. It is now. It is the power of now. Time is an illusion. There is no AFTER-life…there is only LIFE…Life right NOW.

How to Get Into Heaven? You’re already here 🙂

“His disciples say to him, … when will the New World come? He says to them: That which you look for has already come, but you do not recognize it.” -Jesus

Spiritual Gangsters

How to Get Into Heaven, For Free 2

Jesus and Eckhart Tolle know what’s up. They know how to get into heaven because they see they’re already there. Lots of others know too. But there are lots of spiritual charlatans that will tell you you need to sit in a cross-legged lotus posture for 20 years before your worthy. Well screw that says the elf community. That’s the blind leading the blind. Spiritual gangsters are just selling ice to Eskimos. You’re already enlightened my friend, you just don’t know it 🙂

But to be fair, there is one real value in seeking Heaven or enlightenment…it’s valuable to seek it to realize that you don’t need to seek it. That’s the cosmic joke. So sure, you can pay for that spiritual retreat to India, or that 10-day silent retreat, or that Yoga course in Costa Rica…but no technique is going to get you closer to your true nature, because you already are your true nature and you can’t ever not be. You are heaven. You are Christ. This is it. Nirvana is this. I know it sounds crazy but recognize that “that is crazy” is just a thought floating through your head. What happens when you ignore that thought my friend?

So you wanna get into heaven? Look around. You’re there already.

“If those who lead you say, ‘See, the Kingdom is in the sky,’ then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, ‘It is in the sea,’ then the fish will precede you. Rather, the Kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living Father.” -Jesus

Enjoy those Jesus quotes? They’re from the lesser-known Gospel of Thomas. This is my favorite translation:

And speaking of all this spiritual God stuff…check out my new clothing store feating the funniest God humor imaginable: Groovy God.

If you like this article about how to get into heaven and wanna chat more about this stuff comment below or reach out to me directly.


The Frugal Elf


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